And now, something actually relating to the name of this blog...

I really enjoy being a traditional Filipina dancer, but when I need to explain/put up with:

• I am not 'some random white girl'
• I am half filipino
• I am blonde, but it's dyed
• Why I'm so pale
• That I am not the choreographer's girlfriend, but his DAUGHTER
• Stares
• Why that white girl is wearing a Terno and dancing traditional dances
• Why, if I can dance so well, I can't speak Tagalog
• Why I dyed my hair
• etc

every time, it gets old fast.  Although I love dancing and experiencing part of my culture,  it is really shitty that I need to validate my identity to 'real Filipinos' every single time I want to share that part of my heritage with others.  While I cannot currently speak Tagalog, I do know how to cook the foods, dance the dances, I know the traditions and celebrations, and I have been involved in this culture since I was born, which is a lot more than many of the full-blooded 'real' Filipinos I know who were born here who speak the language.

No, I do not 'look Filipino' but that does not diminish the importance that my heritage has to me.  I'm truly sorry that my very 'mixed' appearance confuses or upsets you, but I know who I am and your close-minded opinion about what someone with Filipino heritage should look is not going to change that.


And this is not to say that I don't love the other cultures that make up my ancestry, but I usually do not gain flack for my enthusiasm for my enthusiasm for my English, Irish, etc. side. And I'm also not saying that all Filipinos are like this, but I have personally encountered many people who act this way when they see me dance and I speak to them later.

I apologize that my first post in a while is a large rant, but it's tragic how often I've come across people like this who feel it is their duty to interrogate anyone who isn't dark-skinned with black hair.

Many Hugs,
Zan

Rant

Now, I'm not one to be bitter.  I'm the one to usually look on the bright side of things and be positive about the situation, but I am past my limit.  Early this summer I submitted the information needed in order to get loans for school and living.  Thinking everything is going as it usually does, I forget about it except for the occasional stress-filled 'how am I going to pay for this?' moment.

Usually, this is where things just go smoothly, but this year, my senior year, Temple decides to be completely unreliable.  In early-to-mid august I started receiving email notices that if I didn't pay my tuition and fees that I would have my classes taken from me.  Seeing as schedules are tight and it's my senior year, I was worried so I contacted Wells Fargo who told me that Temple needed to accept the loans.  So what's my next mode of action? Call Temple of course!  Temple said that they would straighten everything out and my loans would go through.  After that all was good and the notices stopped.

A few weeks ago I checked my bill online to see how everything was and to be able to guess when I would get a check from Temple so that I could pay rent and other living costs.  When I saw that the Wells Fargo bill had not gone through I was irked, but not worried.  Temple was probably just busy with all the freshman.  Fast foward to today- no check, no change.  Angry now, I called them, was put on hold for over an hour, just to be told that my file was NOW put into the woman's pile and that I should check back in a week.

As a student, I need books, a place to live, and nutrition.  I didn't order books until this week (which is the fourth week of class), I'm going to need to pay utilities and rent out of my savings, and I haven't bought anything since my dad left me food.  Honestly Temple, you need to take into consideration the lives of the people who depend on these loans.  I understand you have thousands of students, but I submitted my papers months ago and you haven't processed my loan yet? If I weren't about to graduate you would have just lost some income.  Don't expect donations from me in the future.

A health update

Yet another health update, but this time I come bearing good news!  On the 14th of September I signed up to be a part of Temple's body composition program.  While it's not really involved (at all, seriously), it will provide me with accountability and a reason to work out!  What's required of TBC (as I shall now refer to it) is that you attend 'weigh ins' three times in a semester, and if you maintain or lower your body fat percentage you are entered into a raffle to win some sort of prize.  I'm not really in it for the prize, but I would like to lower my body fat percentage.

Now when I initially saw the numbers I thought it was measuring BMI, which is a total load of hooey, but then they handed me this neat little sheet explaining body fat percentage. TBC uses Bioelectrical Impedance to measure body fat percentage.  (Some other ways are using skinfold calipers and underwater weighing, but both require skill or resources that Temple does not have.)  Now, I'm not too learned on BEI, but I know it measures lean weight and fat weight, and gives you a percentage tat is a better measure of health than weight.

 

TBC provided a chart that says what body type you are according to your percentage, but this isn't adjusted for age.  Using this chart, however I am considered 'above average' which I think is completely understandable. According to the age-adjusted chart above I am 'average' which is just lovely.  With this chart also came a formula, and if you know me, you know I love formulas, even if I don't understand them.  So with this formula you can figure out your desired weight utilizing an ideal body fat percentage.  Much to my surprise when I plugged in my 'desired' body fat percentage (about 19) I came up with my current goal weight!


Fun Stats ::
Start Weight :: 185 (January 19)
Last Weigh-In :: 167
Current Weight :: 166
Body Fat Percentage :: 27.1 
Goal Weight :: 150 (October 9)


Now, whether this is feasible on time is a different matter.  Not that I am lazy, but some people's bodies are meant to be in a certain range of weights, and I am currently unsure of what my range is.  I will be working hard to stay active this semester though!
So far to aid this I've taken up Zumba and recruited a new gym partner.  Now, he isn't the most focused individual but having him there provides me with motivation to keep going, because honestly I am competitive and I hate to be beaten.  Zumba is pretty fantastic as well, I can't leave the gym after that without feeling like I've accomplished so much!
Now all I need to do is continue on this path.  If I lose more weight, greatfantasticawesomesauce! If not, that's just my body telling me that I'm perfect the way I am.

A Week in Paradise

Early this past summer, mi familia and I went on a magnificent vacation to celebrate my sister's graduation, my father's 50th birthday, and (very early) my 21st birthday. We spent a week in the U.S. Virgin Islands, mainly St. John, and it was absolutely wonderful.  The people there were some of the nicest, most polite people that are on this planet, and the natural landscape and architecture are gorgeous.  The food was fantastic, and the local artists were amazing.  The only drawback to this magical ride was the bugs, although I ignored them most of the time they bothered my sister.  Nevertheless, I would definitely recommend this destination to anyone who is thinking about vacationing in the Caribbean.

Summer Health Update

Well, as I've mentioned before my summer was quite lackluster on the health factor side.  I set out to be very active and to do something physical each day.  That turned out to be a sad, sad failure.  The summer wasn't completely bust, however, because my friends and I did a number of physical things.  We also had a week where we baked and cooked and sat around and watched movies with the same people every day, but that's besides the point, right?  We did manage to take a few good bikes and hikes and play on some awesomesauce swings, though.  By some miracle, I managed to actually lose two pounds since the last weigh-in.  How that happened, I'm not sure because I'll be the first to admit that my eating while at home was not good at all.  While I was taking classes I was decent and I went to the gym (once xP), but at home I was a mess.  So here's the progress report!

Fun Stats ::
Start Weight :: 185 (January 19)
Last Weigh-In :: 169
Current Weight :: 167
Goal Weight :: 150 (October 9)





Although I am through the roof pleased that I have not only not gained weight but actually lost weight, I know that it will take a lot for me to reach my goal on time.  I've decided not to start working out until next week, which is the second week of classes, so I can adjust to my schedule and figure the logistics out.  Also, it's hard getting back in the swing of gym-ing. So until next time!

Keep Healthy!
HEART
Zan

Well this is awkward

As you can probably tell by the time stamps it has been a while since I've posted here.  I could make a ton of excuses right now, but through this summer I've come to the conclusion that I'd like to make as little amount of excuses as possible. Honestly I was just lazy concerning keeping up with this.  I had time because, as you probably know, I don't have much of a life and I've been online pretty much consistently throughout the summer. So for my lazyness on this topic, I apologize.
Tomorrow starts my senior year, which is pretty scary.  I feel like I'm leagues behind my peers because I came into this school late, and even later into my chosen major.  And while others know what companies to work for or what they want to do, I have no idea.  I guess now is the time to figure this out.  I've finally gotten a suit tailored, so I suppose that is a step in the right direction considering the fact that I'm majoring in business-type things.  This summer I've realized that this path might not be the best for me though.  Now, I'm not saying I don't want to use what I've learned in these majors, but I do not think I would enjoy myself for very long at a strict corporate job.  I am confident that I will find my way, however.  Everyone does, and I'm young so my time will come.
On the matter of health.... Well I'd rather not update you on this but it's only fair seeing as you (all 2 of you) have waited so long for an update.  I did gain weight back, I'm not going to lie about that.  It's a lot less then I was expecting though, considering the fact that I did almost nothing this summer.  Sure, I hiked and biked a number of times, but nothing consistent, and consistency produces results, does it not? I plan to get back on the horse though and work out throughout the semester.  What that schedule will be, I'm not yet sure.  I have a few ideas for it though, and I'll update you as soon as possible.
I suppose that is it for the moment, so I'll leave you to actually go live your life while I sit in my anxiety corner.

Let's Kill Hitler
HEART
Zan

Second Summer Update

So this week has been a sort of fail, well on some fronts more than others. Physically and nutritionally, it was a huge fail. Well, not huge, but it was a setback of sorts.  I didn't really pay attention to what I ate, and physically I was not really good. I did a buttload of crunches, but my body needs more than that to maintain or lose weight.

Fun Stats ::
Start Weight :: 185 (January 19)
 Last Week :: 166
 Current Weight :: 169
Goal Weight :: 150 (October 9)

Yes, I gained some weight back.  It's not ideal, but it also isn't the end of the world.  This coming week I'll be on vacation, so I'll be able to take advantage of the hotel's gym.  And trust me, I WILL take advantage of it.  Truly, I miss the gym.  Not the exhausting mid-workout feel of it, but the afterwards feel of satisfaction.

Some other updates regarding my summer goals are a large amount of painting and drawing.  They kind of suck, but I'll probably post them up later.  I've also been taking a large amount of photographs and trying to improve. A lot of them are just self portraits I'll probably use for stock, or me being silly after watching America's Next Top Model.  Hey, if I can get down a bit more, I would try out for it. They're accepting short girls now after all.  Short girls don't win, but they're CONSIDERED. haha I probably wouldn't win.  My case of teh faces is much too severe.  Anywho, here's one of the photos I've taken:

Branches by ~zanbat0 on deviantART

Enjoy, Explore, and I'll see you later.

HEART
Zan