Day of Darkness, Day of Light

Today is a day that brings up many emotions.  Commercial America has decided that today is a day to celebrate Mother's and all the work they have done to take care of their children.  Fate has decided that this date is to be a year after the death of my own mother.  This first year without her has been a long, hard journey, and I know that it will not be getting easier any time soon.  I have cried, laughed, raged, loved, remembered, and tried to live a life my Mother would be proud of.  I try my best, knowing that she is watching me, and most likely laughing every time I do something ridiculous, which is pretty often.

My Mother and I. She loves babies and children the most.

After my Mother's passing, I went online, trying to find something to help me in any way.  Healthy thing to turn to the internet for comfort, isn't it? In any event, I didn't find much, but that could be contributed to my less-than-sparkling mental state at the time. I did, however, find a poem written by Mallissa A. Moore that I did relate to deeply.  I had thought about writing my own poem for my Mother, but if you know me, you know languages are NOT my forte. So here's the poem that I found:

"I just thought I’d say
I love you and goodbye
We will miss you dearly
I promise I won’t cry.

I will never forget our talks
Conversations on the phone
How happy you were to see me
When I finally came home.

You worried so much about me
I worried about you too
I know this is the hardest thing
We've ever had to do.

I know you'll always be with me
Wherever I will go
No one needs to show me
I will always know.

I don’t know what to do Mom
I never thought I’d lose you
Where I'll go from here
I still haven't got a clue.

I hope you'll watch over me
Be my guiding light
Giving me the strength I need
To win this endless fight.

You're my guardian angel Mom
Sitting on my shoulder
Whispering your words of wisdom
To use as I get older.

I don't want to say goodbye
But we'll meet again someday
We'll pick up where we left off
Before you went away."

So on this Mother's day, exactly one year from the death of my mother, I celebrate my Mother's life and her dedication to her family. Of course, I'll also selfishly cry here and there in between the reminiscing about the past, but I won't let that get in the way of my love for her.  I miss you, Mom, and I cannot wait to see you again one day.  Till then, every time I trip or mess up my words, it's for you, I hope you enjoy the show I put on for you. 

O God, who hast commanded us to honor our father and our mother; in Thy mercy have pity on the soul of my mother, and forgive her her trespasses; and make me to see her again in the joy of everlasting brightness. Through Christ our Lord. Amen.  

May God bless you and your Mothers.  I hope that you appreciate what you have and that you let your loved ones know how you feel.